...so i touched it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
