Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
this will be a night to untag.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
