I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
