Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
