woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
