what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
