Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
