At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
