You're a womanizer and a bitch.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
My bed smells like the plague
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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