I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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