3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
