My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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