I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
