go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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