can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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