Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
