Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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