I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
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