The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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