Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
