sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
