oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
