I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
