Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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