How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
