They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
