What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
All the doctor said was why
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
