I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
