Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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