She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
