two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
