is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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