even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Drake has all the answers
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
