That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
