we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
