Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
