So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
