i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
