Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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