you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
