I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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