ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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