my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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