I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
