420 ftw
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
