im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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