hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
