This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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