Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
