kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
